If you struggle with people pleasing (aka “the fawn trauma response”), know that your difficulty in saying know may arise from a survival need to choose attachment over authenticity.
You may have learned to suppress, ignore, and abandon how you truly think and feel in order to maintain connection with your caregivers. This experience can lead us to believe that our thoughts and feelings are unacceptable, weird, different, wrong, or unlovable.
It’s normal to develop a protective part that tries to protect you from further feelings of rejection, disconnection, abandonment, and fear by triggering feelings of guilt and self-critical thoughts. Authenticity in the form of setting boundaries, speaking your mind, expressing your feelings, saying no might make you feel guilty. It’s how that part “keeps you in line” in an effort to protect you.
Healing involves reconnecting to our true self, including our feelings and opinions, and learning how to access safety as we begin to express ourselves, set boundaries, and say “no”. To allow that protective part to let go, to show it it’s now safe to truly be you.
Psychedelics can help us connect with our true self. They can help us find love and compassion for those aspects we abandoned or rejected after being abandoned or rejected by our caregivers. Reconnecting with the self allows us to regain our authenticity, which can facilitate unburdening ourselves from feeling the need to please others. This can provide relief from anxiety, guilt, fear and shame.
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